When Reality Hits You Like a Freight Train

I've had a week to process the death of Ralphie May. It hit me like a freight train. Not because I was such a fan of his work (I was, and am, a fan), but because he was the same age as I am. And he died. Of cardiac arrest. I know he made a living making fat jokes and laughing at himself, but I wish that someone had been there to encourage him to live a healthier lifestyle, like I was lucky enough to have. He probably surrounded himself with enablers, those who would rather give him what he asks for rather than what he needs. Those who would tell him what he wanted to hear, rather than help him face a tough reality. From personal experience, it’s not a fun conversation to endure, but seeing a loved one end up in the hospital with oxygen tubes (if you’re lucky) or in a casket (if you’re not) is even less fun to endure.

In the weeks leading up to his death, he was suffering from pneumonia and at his last performance, he couldn't walk up the steps leading to the stage. When you have to exert that much energy to do so little activity, there will be difficult times on the road ahead. I know. I remember those trips to the mailbox that had me short of breath. Life is tough enough as it is, why must we make it harder on ourselves by not taking care of the one thing that will be with us through our entire lives: our bodies?

Contrary to what society tells us, we don't have to be skinny, but we should be healthy (BTW, skinny people can be unhealthy, too!). Please, all that I ask of you, my friends and family, is to take care of yourselves. Drink water, move throughout the day, do other things that help you stay in my life longer. It really hit home when I thought about where I could be if I hadn't been encouraged to live a healthier lifestyle. If Ralphie May's death can cause just one person to live healthier, than his sudden loss will not be in vain. His fans, friends and family will feel that loss, but I hope we will all learn from it, as well.

I've included a picture of me in 2011 and him in 2015 (I claim no rights to this image). It's scary that we really weren't that different.

Getting a Tune-up is Important

Well, I don't think it's any great secret after my last few posts that I was taking some "time off for bad behavior". What I didn't realize was that I wasn't feeling like myself during that time, I felt bad. Because I felt bad, I would continue to keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting that at some point things were going to change and I would feel differently (does that sound familiar to anyone?) Yes, that is the definition of "insanity" (whether or not Einstein was actually the one to define it, is up for debate, but it's true, regardless of who coined the phrase). And that was me, driving around all over the place, like a kid on a bumper car grid. No goals, no end in sight, just out there for the hell of it. I didn't really equate my actions with how I was feeling. Then, I finally got the hell off the bumper cars (I mean really, what in the world is the appeal for self-inflicted whiplash, anyway?) I started paying attention again (in the world of Weight Watchers, it's this little activity known as "tracking"), I started challenging myself with monthly fitness goals, I started writing again (hey, yes...nice to see all y'all again!). In other words, I started acting like the myself again.

When I say that I was acting like "myself" again, I don't mean the "me" who would come home Friday after work and not leave the house (or even open the door) again until Monday. Not the "me" who would consume a breakfast that would feed a family of three. Not the "me" who couldn't walk to the mailbox. No, she's gone. For good. No matter how much "time off for bad behavior" I take, she's never coming back. I rediscovered Me 2.0. The one who does 5Ks and Half Marathons, the one who isn't afraid to sweat, the one who feels good physically because she feels good emotionally and vice versa. When I got my groove back (OK, it's a process. Technically, I'm still getting my groove back), I noticed I felt better during Orangetheory classes, I felt better on the bike rides, I felt better just getting up in the morning. Yes, taking care of your mind, body and soul makes it easier to take care of your soul, body and mind.

In other words, what I've really learned is that when I'm not feeling quite right, when something feels off, I should listen to my inner voice (no, not the one begging for Red Velvet Cheesecake) telling me to take care of myself. It is important take a look at what you are doing or not doing, examine what habits you lost or picked up — get a tune-up. Your body is the most important vehicle you will ever have, make sure that nothing gets in the way of your ability to keep it in mint condition. Treat it like Cameron's dad's Ferrari in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. You are not a bumper car stranded on an electric grid, destined to give someone whiplash. No, you are a magnificent piece of Italian machinery, built for excitement and the freedom of the open road. You can only drive with the engine light on for so long before permanent damage is done and no vehicle can perform in peak condition without the proper care. 

Should I Pedal Faster?

Well, the answer to that question is “it depends”. Pedaling is situational. Finding the right pedaling speed (cyclists call it a “cadence”) for the terrain is important, making sure you aren’t wasting energy, when you should be conserving it. Just like on this long strange trip I’ve been on for the last several years, if I’m doing something that is sapping my energy rather than increasing it, then I need to shift gears and correct my cadence.

That’s where I am now. I’ve shifted gears, but learning to correct the bad habits that have slipped back into my life will take some time to undo. As I’ve said all along, it’s ok. It is imperative that I listen to my body (although, now that I’m getting older, it seems to complain so much more than it used to!) and make sure that when it is telling me that I’m doing something wrong, I trust that my behavior needs to change.

Shifting gears, shifting mindset. It’s pretty much the same thing. One of the most important keys to having success while trying to accomplish a large-scale dream is continuing to make the adjustments as you go along. The steps you take at the beginning will not be the same as the ones you take in the middle or at the end. Your gears will shift and your cadence will adjust.

I’ve shifted my gears and now I’m working on finding the correct cadence for this terrain. Things will change again and I’ll make more adjustments when that happens. I know now that it’s OK – encouraged actually – to change things up and not stay the course. Dare to be different, as they say.

Changing Vehicles

I know, I know. Just the other day, I said I would change things up from car analogies. To be fair, the blog IS called Road Trip. Also, as I was out riding my bike the other day, and it dawned on me. Just because you’re on a road trip, doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a car. So, with that in mind and my recent re-dedication to this journey, I’ve decided to tackle this from a cycling perspective, at least for a while. If you think about it, the change makes a lot of sense. It takes longer to get somewhere on a bike than in a car. But, you get to see more things along the way and you have more fun when traveling in a pack, with your friends.

Restarting, starting over, rededicating yourself. These are all terms that sound like you failed at something and are making another attempt. It’s not the case. There’s only one way to fail, and that’s to never start. Well, there is one other way to fail: to always compare yourself to what others are doing. Don’t feel like you have to live up to someone else’s expectations or accomplishments. Rather than letting the competition get the best of you, gather your friends to join you on a nice bike ride. It’s a good way to ensure you are surrounded by a supportive group of people. Life is challenging enough. There’s no reason to go it alone. If, for some reason, you find yourself on a solo bike ride, find others who are looking will welcome you to their pack.  One thing that I’ve learned is there will always be slower riders and speed demons, no matter the vehicle. I’ve got to find a pace that I can manage and start there. If I surround myself with others who are successful, then I can only improve.

I’m excited to look at the road from a different angle and speed now. Come along for the ride! It’ll be fun!

When a Detour Becomes the New Route

Oh, hi. I know, you all feel like I've been neglecting you lately. Well, I actually feel the same about myself. For the longest time, I was solely focused on me...and then somewhere along the way, it changed. I'm working on that refocusing stuff, but in the meantime, I've been put on a major detour. And I'm not talking about going down a side road, when you want to go through a major intersection, I'm talking about being rerouted to Hwy 41 when you know you're supposed to be on Interstate 75! 

While I will always struggle to keep my vehicle on course, sometimes what's going on outside the car is a little more important. Recently my Aunt Bonnie (one of my biggest Cheerleaders in my weight loss journey) has been diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme. Basically, it sucks. And it has given me the opportunity to reevaluate everything that is important in life. She is only 12 years older than I am and she is the youngest of her sisters. What is happening to her absolutely sucks, but what I've learned over the last several years is that once we put our minds to something, there is no road block that can keep us from our destination. Things won't be easy and, as her husband, my Mom and Aunt April can attest, they are already challenging, but it's amazing what the support of family, friends and total strangers can do. Life is the most uncertain of things that we wander through and at a second's notice, the life we once expected can be turned on its head. Never get comfortable in the driver's seat, you never know what hazards lie ahead.

While I usually make this blog about my experiences, I thought it was a good time to get Bonnie's story out to the world. There is a lot of shit going on right now and we could all use some good news. Bonnie is the queen of spreading happiness and good news and anytime you can help share her story, we are grateful. Now, if only we could hear good news of acceptance from Duke's Brain Tumor program. But if that's not written in the directions we are currently following, we are just going to have to re-write the directions.

If you are interested in hearing more about Bonnie's GBM battle, can donate or would like to spread the word, please click HERE.

Distracted Driving

I'm sorry. That's really all I can offer at this point. It has been far too long for me to have been away, and I am paying the price! 

Have you ever gotten in your car to go somewhere familiar, like to work or home or to drop the kids off at school? Somewhere you travel every day, only to get there and go "wait, how did I get here? I remember getting in the car, but I don't remember actually driving!" That's pretty much auto-pilot. And it's not a good thing. When you switch to auto-pilot, you may be reaching your destination, but you may have missed some things along the way, maybe you ran a stop sign. If you're lucky, there were no major repercussions for the mental lapse, if you aren't, maybe your zone out caused an accident. The fact is, you may not suffer immediate consequences for not paying attention, but it is likely to catch up, if you don't do something to snap out of it.

Only recently, did I realize that's what I've been doing for these last several months. I put my car in "drive" and am blindly following the same path, doing the same things and making the same mistakes along the way. Getting caught by the same Red Lights, hitting the same traffic spots and just not really enjoying the trip. What I've got to do now is mix things up a little and catch the fire that I had in 2011 when I got in the car to start this trip. I've said all along that it's about the journey, not the destination, but what I've come to realize is there is no finish line. The up side is, I think I've found my focus again. I don't want to get where I'm going, only to realize I missed the whole drive because I was dazed and confused. I realize that I think I've been searching for something for the last year, but I don't know what that something is (I've never felt like Bono so much in my life, since I still haven't found what I'm looking for!), but I wasn't going in the right direction.

So, now, with renewed interest in my surroundings, and a promise to take alternate routes to help keep my interest behind the wheel, I plan to put my energy back to where it belongs and finally get back on the road and get back to me.

Take Your Own Journey

I’ve realized something over the last (almost) four years…no matter how well you succeed in striving to hit a goal, you are always comparing yourself to others who have “done better.”  But what does “done better” really mean? Does it mean that someone lost more weight than you? Does it mean someone lost it quicker than you? Does it mean that someone makes more money than you? Well, since we are all human and all in the habit of comparing ourselves to friends, family and co-workers who surround us (and in some cases, we find ourselves making comparisons with people whom we’ve never even met).

There are some good things that can come from these types of comparisons, but for the most part, comparing any accomplishments we make with those of other people is downright useless. I was talking with a neighbor at the grocery store the other day. I noticed that he has lost quite a bit of weight. I know he’s been working on it, as he was attending Weight Watchers meetings periodically and I’ve also seen him walking up and down the main road outside my neighborhood. But I hadn’t seen him in a while, so his weight loss was dramatic and noticeable. Now, I know it can be tricky to mention weight loss to someone, but given the fact that I knew he’d been working on it, I would be remiss not to say something. He thanked me and told me he’d lost about 50 pounds. I congratulated him. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave it there. He went on to compare his accomplishment to mine. I could tell he felt bad that he hasn’t lost as much as I have. He needs to take his own journey, and I told him as much. What he did is a huge accomplishment! He should be shouting it from the rooftops, he should be encouraging others – who are interested – to come along for the ride. He should not be bummed that he hasn’t done what I’ve done.

Now, I have a confession to make. I have to work on this problem with myself! I do look at others who have done more, done it quicker or done it better and I wonder what I could have done differently to change my path. But then, I get random Facebook messages out of the blue from a nationally known magazine and I realize that it doesn’t matter the road that others have taken, because I took the road that I was supposed to take and I am where I’m supposed to be. Sometimes that road was less traveled, but other times it was a full-on traffic jam, but the entirety of that road was mine to travel as I saw fit.

So, I will work on making sure that I don’t try to hitchhike onto someone else’s Road Trip, but I will make sure that I support and encourage everyone along the way. And I hope that you will do the same, because when we all get to where we’re going, it should be one helluva party!

Starting with a Clunker, Ending with a...

So, here’s what I've been thinking: we all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder (thank you, Shakespeare and countless others) but did you ever stop to think that the beholders have extremely different views? Look at the lineup of European cars versus American.You will see what’s important. In Europe, it seems that size matters, but so does functionality. In America, it’s all about the appearance. Who cares if you siphon gas off the neighbors, as long as you look good doing it, am I wrong? Which school of thought is right? There doesn't appear to actually be a “right or wrong” answer! The answer can only be given by the driver of the car. Initially, vehicles were created to get people from Point A to Point B without any additional flash. Now, however, it seems it’s all about the flash. But that’s OK, if that’s what you want. For me, I want to be functional, with a dash of flash. What that means is that I need to be able to have a routine that is sustainable but fun, easy to do but challenges me and keeps both my mind and my body in top form.

Not to sound like a broken record, but the reason for starting this blog (and the subsequent Facebook Group), was to prove that large, seemingly impossible tasks could be achieved by simply taking it on a little at a time. If you go all gangbusters at the start, without easing in, there is a higher likelihood of getting burned out before reaching your goal. All flash…most people don’t learn to drive using a Maserati (I’m sure they are out there, but us normal folk sure don’t!). No, we learn on our parent’s cars or a clunker that is already well on its way to the junk yard. The reason being, with the learning period, there are always rough patches and why would you want to do damage to a piece of art like a Maserati? Start with the clunker, get the feel of it, and learn how it drives, brakes, the intricacies of the machine. Then, when you’re a bit more experienced, you move on to something reliable like a Ford, Toyota or something equally functional, but a little flashier.

Eventually, you will have figured out what is the most important characteristic you need in your vehicle. It will vary over the course of your road trip. When you started, you may have thought that at the end of it you would definitely be getting the Maserati. But maybe, as you go along and learn about yourself, you will realize that it really wasn't about the type of vehicle you took on the journey, it was just that you decided to take the journey in the first place. That beauty that you are beholding can – and will – change. Don’t be afraid of that change. Hell, if you go through you’re journey and don’t change, then you haven’t made it to your destination yet.

Remember, each person has to take his or her own journey at a personal speed. Don’t look at someone’s Maserati and envy it while you drive your clunker. You don’t know what it took for that person to finally get to that point and you won’t know until you've arrived. Support others and let others support you, but don’t compare yourself to them. It can only lead to a pile-up on the expressway.

Driving A Stick Shift

Have you ever tried to drive a stick shift? It’s a craft that is not practiced much these days, as automatic transmissions clutter new car lots across the nation. Well, at least here in the States. I’m sure it’s different around the globe where driving is still considered an art form, not merely a means of getting from point A to point B. Anyway, I personally do not know how to drive a vehicle with a manual transmission, I mean I guess I could figure it out if I were in a dire situation where that knowledge was needed, but I haven’t mastered the technique. Once, I had someone try to teach me, but I just couldn't get it. It’s not that he was a bad teacher– he was actually very patient – and considering we were using his vehicle, it could have turned ugly. The fact is, I was a bad student. I wasn't ready to learn what he wanted to teach. I just was not in the right mindset to learn the intricacies of driving a stick shift. Now, had I been in the right frame of mind, I bet I would have thoroughly enjoyed the lessons and the experience. Whenever you are going to do something outside of your comfort zone, you have to be both mentally and physically ready to accept the challenge and I just wasn't.

However, yesterday, I didn't just step outside of my comfort zone, I took a giant leap beyond it! With all the walking I do, I felt that it was time to push my limits and do a half-marathon. The longest distance I’d walked while “training” for this monumental goal was 9.5 miles. I was nervous going into the Sarasota Music Half Marathon since I hadn't actually walked 13.1 miles yet. Was I prepared for this mentally? Was I prepared for this physically? I wasn't sure. Not knowing what was in store for me, I anticipated finishing around 3 hours and 45 minutes or averaging about a 16 minute mile, and I would have been happy with that. As it turned out, I exceeded my own expectations! I finished in just under 3 hours with an average pace of about a 13.50 minute mile. I absolutely shocked myself! If I had not been in the right frame of mind and had not taken the right steps to be physically prepared, I probably would have given up just as I did when trying to learn how to drive a stick shift. Sometimes, your brain is even more prepared than your body even realizes. I fully intended on walking the majority of the race, after all, that’s what I do on my long Sunday walks. I had no idea that I would be so physically and mentally prepared for the challenge. Not only was I more than prepared, but I am determined that when I do it next year, I’ll do even more running! Now that I know what to expect, I will be able to do proper training. 

Taking on a challenge is all about timing. No matter what it is that you are looking to do, if your heart and your head aren't in it, my advice is to not begin. If you’re not properly prepared and you don’t see signs of success (or the only thing you think you see is failure), chances are, you will grow discouraged and quit. Being able to overcome the fear of the unknown and interpreting failure as merely an obstacle on the path to success, that’s when you know you are ready to take on the greater challenges. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, I know that. Life has setbacks, but it’s how we deal with those setbacks that allows us to achieve greater things than we could have ever imagined.

Don’t be the bad student with a good teacher, like I once was. Dig deep and find that higher gear that you never knew you had and achieve greatness. You are worth the effort it takes to be awesome!

I am Exactly Where I'm Supposed to Be

So, recently, I had a writing epiphany while driving. I know, it seems with a title like “Road Trip”, all of my ideas for posts would come while I was behind the wheel. Actually, most of them occur while I am walking and I have time to let my mind wander. Usually, when I’m driving, I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing while operating a motor vehicle: paying attention. Not that having a figurative light bulb go off is going to actually disrupt my driving ability. Truthfully, it was because I was paying such close attention to my actions on the road, I realized that in that moment in time, I was exactly where I was supposed to be. The green light that I made, the red light I didn't, the slow car that I’d been behind, the Starbucks pit stop – everything. Every step along the way put me at a certain place at a certain time.

Most days, we don’t think about all those little actions, in fact, usually there’s not a reason to dwell on them. That is, until one day when you hear that there was a bad accident at an intersection that you've already crossed because you are ahead of schedule. But knowing that on a normal day, given the time of the accident, you would have possibly been right in the middle of it, had you not made that extra green light or left a minute or two earlier than usual. So yes, all of us are where we are because of the steps we take.

Where we are in our metaphorical Road Trip is just as dependent upon the steps we take every day. This journey started because of a conversation. At a restaurant. On the water. There, that’s a green light, a yield sign and probably getting behind a slow poke, figuratively, of course, but for whatever reason, we chose to go to that restaurant, sit outside and enjoy the weather, and my Mom and one of my Aunts decided to have the conversation with me that changed the course of my life. Every step along the way has put me where I am right this moment.

Yes, there are the things that have slowed down my progress at times, but I don’t consider them stop signs or U-Turns. I look at them as learning opportunities, so that when I’m back up to full speed, I will be a better driver after gaining experience. The most important thing that I have to remember is that there is no time limit on this journey. I will be doing this for the remainder of my life and I know that I will have others along with me for the ride. Some of them will speed ahead of me and others may slow down, but since we are all traveling in a pack, so we can learn from what others experience along the way.

I know that it’s been a long road trip – almost 3 ½ years – but I’m not ready to get out of the car anytime soon. I hope you aren't either!

Enrolling in Driver's Ed

Well, will you look at that! It turns out I had one last story to tell for 2014. You see, last week, I was fortunate enough to get lots of outdoor walking worked into my day because of Christmas vacation. Walking outside does something to my brain, it wanders ­– in a good way – and that’s usually when I start planning my next post. So, here we are.

As I was enjoying the sunshine, I started thinking about all the posts that I've already written and what driving analogies I may have missed. Then it dawned on me, with the new year starting and the images of gyms, news articles and opinion pieces, Facebook memes and pretty much any ad on TV or radio that inundates our subconscious with ideas that everyone’s New Year’s Resolution is (or should be) weight-loss, I decided that I would dive right into that saturated field and offer my own opinions on the subject. Please note that everything I state here is strictly my opinion and I have received no compensation for what I’m about to say!

For those who have decided that 2015 is going to be “The Year” of successful weight loss, I would offer this suggestion: treat it like Driver’s Ed. Before you went out to get your Driver’s License, you had to become familiar with the car and the rules of the road. For many of us, learning on our own or with the help of a parent was not enough, so we enrolled in Driver’s Ed and used the support of the teacher and other classmates to help us learn and eventually pass the test.

Starting this journey shouldn't be any different. There are some people who are successful at losing weight without any outside assistance, they are rare, but I don’t doubt they exist. I am not one of them. I need the support and the tools of my Weight Watchers group to continue my success. Now, I've changed a lot of habits over the years, so I’m not as dependent as I was in the beginning, but the right group or program will allow you to spread your wings. To be successful, you must be allowed to share, vent, support others, be supported, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes and never stop growing. Programs (like Weight Watchers or Shibboleth) and retreats (such as Green Mountain at Fox Run) that focus on education and support seem to be the most successful platforms. But ultimately, the program that is successful for you is the one in which you want to follow.

When you learn the proper driving techniques from qualified instructors, your driving record is usually better than someone who is just winging it. That’s not to say that you won’t ever get a ticket or be in an accident, but at least you have been given the tools to learn how to recognize the signs of dangerous road conditions. These groups operate in much the same manner. Just by attending the meetings doesn't guarantee that you will lose weight, you must take on the responsibility to use what you learn and not expect it to come without hard work.  I realize that sounds a bit preachy, and I typically try to keep everything here light-hearted, but I can’t stress enough that it is ultimately up to you to be successful in your journey. You can have the support of the entire planet, but you must be the one who puts the key in the ignition and starts the car. Knowing that you have the support of a driving instructor along for the ride should make things easier in the beginning, but the instructor is only there to impart her knowledge, you must be willing to absorb it and put it into action so that you take control of your own vehicle. After a while, you may find that you've mastered some of the techniques so well that you are willing to put yourself in the instructor’s seat for those newbies that are about to hit the road with their New Year’s Resolutions!

I hope that 2015 finds you happy and healthy and I encourage you all to enjoy your own Road Trip! You are worth the journey!

Navigating the Holidays

I’m sorry that I've been slacking, things are just crazy busy for me! Trust me, it’s not that I’m not interested in keeping my eyes on the road, I just haven’t had time to really focus on what matters, and that’s a most unfortunate thing. But now, with Thanksgiving behind us, Hanukkah starting last week, Christmas this week, culminating with the binge drinking and binge eating event otherwise known as New Year’s Eve, I just figured it was time to examine where I am on the map. After all, isn't the end of the year the best time for reflection? Looking at where you've been this past year in order to plan where you are going for next year.

I had to ask myself a few questions: 

Where have I been? Well, in 2014, I logged about 1846 miles worth of walking this year (with yet another week to go, I should end somewhere close to 1900 miles), hit my goal weight, had my story featured on CNN.com, appeared on the TV show “The Doctors” and was interviewed for Fitwoman.com, so all in all, 2014 was a great year. 

Where am I going? No one knows what the future holds, but I do know that I will be focusing more on my passion in 2015. This weight loss journey has not only inspired the birth of this blog, but it has also given me the spark I need to put myself out there as a writer. I expect that spark to grow into a much larger, brighter flame this upcoming year. I will most definitely be making time to nurture that spark in 2015! 

How do I keep moving forward? It’s not easy to stay on track, especially this time of year, but there are little reminders—road signs, if you will— that I come across on my journey. It’s those little signs that help me stay focused. For instance, at my meeting this past Saturday, one of my awesome meeting friends gave me a custom Christmas card telling me how I inspire her to continue on. It was the best feeling, knowing that what I've done, and continue doing, helps others. When I started back in 2011, my goal wasn't to inspire others, I was lucky if I could inspire myself, but as I have attested many times right here on this blog, I get my inspiration from those who surround me. That is how I keep moving forward! 

How do I navigate these holidays? I can’t believe it, but the Holiday season will be over before long and knowing that I have the tools and trusting in the awareness to keep my eyes on the road ahead is what helps me stay the course. One thing Margie the Magnificent is fond of saying is “they are called ‘HoliDAYS’, not ‘HoliMONTHS’!” Meaning, we are allowed to celebrate the day, but don’t let it continue on for the entire month of Octovember (also known as October, November and December)! We've all worked too long and too hard for a derailment this close to the end of the year.

I've found that self-reflection and self-awareness always seem to be my two best road trip buddies. Usually, I typically lose focus when I ignore who I am and what I’m doing. Self-doubt and self-recrimination are the worst possible traveling companions for any journey. The best thing I've ever done was leave those two along the side of the road somewhere, and never look back. Besides, I just didn't have enough room in the car to keep carrying them along. 

How will you answer the questions? Will you be able to find your spark in the new year? That is my Christmas wish for you...live your passion and may you never have a wasted day. 

I most likely will not be posting again until next year, so to all of you out there, have a very Merry Christmas and a brilliant and blessed New Year! 

Safe travels into 2015! Cheers!

You Don’t Have to Remain in the Fast Lane

So, way back when, as one of my earliest blog posts, I discussed how speeding isn't necessary. I remember that I wrote that, but so much has happened in the nearly 2 years since that post, that I had to go back and re-read it to ensure that I didn't repeat myself. While revisiting that stop along the Road Trip, it occurred to me that I really should go back and revisit my entire journey. Especially right now, with the holidays looming and end-of-year reminiscing, it just made sense that now is the time to look back. As the old saying goes, “those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

I started this blog as a means of chronicling my struggles and successes, my trials and triumphs as I embarked on the (seemingly) overwhelming task of losing half my body weight. Now that I've achieved that goal, I continue to find little things along the way that inspire something down deep inside that I feel I should share. One such tidbit came from an unexpected source. As some of you know, my story was featured on CNN, and since then, I have been blessed with many opportunities, including being interviewed by FitWoman.com and even appearing on a segment of “The Doctors.” As it turns out, the unexpected source of inspiration came when someone from CNN reached out and asked if I would be interested in doing a follow up “Where Are They Now?” type story for January. It would coincide with people making New Year’s Resolutions. I sent back a quick response indicating that I would love to be a part of the New Year’s Resolution story and jotted down a quick piece of advice that I would offer someone making such a resolution: It’s not a resolution for a New Year, it’s a resolution for a New You. As soon as those words were staring back at me, I knew I had to translate that idea into a stop along my Road Trip.

 As you are driving along the interstate, it is tempting to want to hang out in the far left lane– the fast lane, as it were– in order to get where you’re going as fast as you can. It seems like a logical thought, but you can go too fast. When I talk about a New You Resolution, what I really mean is that thinking about the diet as a temporary activity will more than likely end in disappointment. For someone to get the desired results, it takes more than a casual “it’s a new year, I should lose some weight” passing thought. It takes a core desire to change what you've done your entire life and try something new. After all, if you want to be something you've never been, you have to do something you've never done. Overhauling your mind and body is not something to speed through. It took me 2 ½ years to hit goal and I learned a lot about myself during that time. If I had stayed in the left lane, pedal to the metal, there is no doubt I would have lost the weight faster, but I also may have gotten distracted and lost focus of the final goal. I’m not saying I wouldn't have been successful, but slowing down and appreciating the changes that I made helped me change old habits and create new ones. No one is timing you on your progress, so there is no need to rush through it. People often want instant gratification, but proper and healthy weight loss is not something that can be, nor should be, done overnight. It’s a long slow journey, but it is worth every mile!

Frustrated with a Traffic Jam

OK, so you know when you’re cruising along, hitting traffic lights with ease, there are minimal cars on the road and your road trip seems to be going along swimmingly. And then, all of the sudden, a traffic jam of biblical proportions halts you in your tracks. Yeah, that happens, trust me.

As much as I’d like to believe it, this journey can’t all be about sunshine and rainbows. At some point, the storm clouds are going to roll in and there is going to be a serious traffic delay that causes me to rethink whether or not I should stay the course. Now, depending on when this stall takes place will dictate how much of an introspective conversation I will need to have. If the delay is merely miles outside of my destination, I think it’s a no-brainer that a few extra minutes sitting in traffic is no big deal. However, if there is a major road closure right as I’m starting out? Well, then it’s time for me to seriously analyze what I want to accomplish.

Throughout this journey, I really don’t know if I have made it clear that this task is not easy. That was the impetus behind this blog. Knowing it’s not easy, knowing that it takes a little something extra to achieve was why I wanted to write everything down and put my story out there. There were plenty of times I wanted to quit and maybe plenty of times that I almost did, but I realized that the quitting behavior is what I’d always done. And isn't the clinical definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result? If you want something you've never had, you must choose to do something you've never done. To me, that is the polar opposite of insanity.

Deciding to quit is nothing new for people. Deciding to succeed, there’s where we tread into unexplored territory. So, when you come up on your traffic jam, decide if you will take the same, tired way back home or venture on the road less travelled. The fork in the road is before you, and it is up to you to decide which way is going to take you to your ultimate destination.

Beware of Reckless Drivers

OK, so I know that I have talked about “Road Rage” in the past, but that was mainly about anonymous hating focused on people whom I have never met simply trying to live their lives. I want to address the reckless drivers out there who pose a specific threat to my personal journey. There is no doubt that the internet offers a certain level of anonymity that has been the downfall of basic human kindness. I guess it’s the internet. I’d prefer not to think that the bully mentality that is so prevalent today is not because Homo sapiens suck, in general, as a species.

Anyway, as I was saying, I’ve dragged my soap box out previously to discuss how people can bash random people for being “chunky” or “fat” or any other derogatory term that indicates someone doesn’t meet the impossible standards that Hollywood— in it’s infinite wisdom— has set for how women should look. What I never expected to be discussing was how I have suddenly been subjected to some of this anonymous, random internet trolling (I believe a radio show known as The Kane Show refers to it as the 1% Effect: no matter how positive a story, there’s 1% of the population that will still find something negative to say.)

 When the story of my journey was published on CNN’s website and then, subsequently, around the world, I never dreamed that I would be reading negative comments about me. What I’ve come to realize through this entire ordeal is that I am a much stronger person than I could have imagined. Reading what these reckless drivers are saying actually amuses me and spurs me on to continue to succeed. People who say I will gain all my weight back in a year because diets don’t work or those who think it’s so easy to lose 150+ pounds and they don’t understand why it took me 2 1/2 years. Really? While I would really like to address each and every naysayer, I realized...who cares what they think? They are just sitting at their keyboards, hating their own lives hoping to lash out at any success that they see in hopes of derailing, or emotionally stunting, the ones who have had the success. Well, guess what? It’s not gonna work! Much like keeping a weary eye on the driver who is weaving in and out of traffic, with little regard to his own safety or that of the other drivers on the road around him, I will have to learn to be vigilant, keep my eyes wide open and stay alert and shake it off. I never, in a million years, thought I would understand where Taylor Swift was coming from!

Who knows if there will be more spotlights shining on me in the future. If there are, then that means more detractors. As long as I learn my lesson now, I should be able to navigate the crazy drivers that are sure to be on the road ahead and make sure that I stay clear of any collisions that they may cause.

Maintaining Control of Your Vehicle

Over the years, one thing I've learned about driving is that you have to maintain control of your vehicle. Whether it’s staying (relatively) within the speed limit, not texting and driving or keeping it on the road and between the lines, it makes for a much safer journey when you have everything under control. And just as I had to learn my road lessons through repetition and experience, I am learning that maintaining control of my physical vehicle is going to take patience and time.

It would be wonderful if I could just get up every day and not have to think about what I’m doing to maintain my healthy lifestyle, but that’s not the case. I certainly don’t want anyone reading this to think that any part of this experience has been easy. Getting started was tough, losing the weight was difficult and maintaining has certainly given me moments where I felt I could lose control. But, I've also learned that I am the one who has to remain in the driver’s seat, as being a passenger, by it’s very definition, means I would be surrendering the control.

The biggest lesson in this experience is that life will present us with challenges at every opportunity and we have to face them, like staring down a fire-breathing dragon. Sometimes we have to run and hide from the dragon and sometimes we win the battle, but it’s important to come back ready to fight after those times where we don’t win.  As long as you are the one in control of getting back in the fight, you will always come out on top.

People often ask me how I deal with the “food-pushers” or the “saboteurs”. This is how I do it...knowing that I have to be the one who maintains control of my vehicle. If I were to allow others to take over, I would be at their mercy and there is no telling where I’d end up. Remember, this is your journey. Why would you allow someone else to be in control of it?

An Open Road

So many things have happened over the last week, that there are no words!

Since the CNN Article was published, my life has been a near constant blur. But, I wouldn't change it for the world! I started my journey to be healthy and this blog to give me an outlet to talk about the pit stops as well as the green lights along the way. The interest that everyone is taking in my story is incredible, overwhelming and encouraging. I was even given the opportunity to talk with Fitwoman.com about my life changing experience (you can find a link to the interview HERE).

The road is wide open for me and I am trying to soak it all in. I also want to thank everyone who has been reading the blog all along and welcome those of you who may have just found it. I am excited to continue my Road Trip and can't wait to see where the journey takes me!

Making Sure to Refuel Along the Way

First, I know, I know...it’s been a while. Maybe I've been "Broken Down on the Side of the Road" or took too much time "Hanging at a Rest Stop". Either way, I know I have neglected the Road Trip and, for that, I apologize. I've realized that I really have to consider an oil change or tire rotation, something that’s maintenance, but will keep my car safely on the road. So, what have I been doing lately? Well, believe it or not, while I may not have been putting it in words, I've been living the road trip and working on maintenance. And I was reminded of that fact just this weekend, when I was asked to speak at two different Weight Watchers meetings. It was a little nerve-wracking. After all, I do have speech anxiety, but I’m working on that!

Anyway, as I was saying, not only did I have the privilege of speaking to my friends at my normal WW group, but I was also asked to make a guest appearance at another meeting. The nerve-wracking part isn't thinking about what I’m going to say, that just kinda comes naturally. It’s when I stop and think about the hope and dreams that people place in me, real or imagined, that makes me nervous. But when I sit and think about it, I realize that I’m just human and I’m just me and that’s what draws people to me when I do these things. They see in me someone who has succeeded in a long and difficult journey. They see hope and they see that there are people who can make this program work. It’s not just about some celebrity on a TV commercial, I’m a real person standing in front of them. And it’s overwhelming. What people don’t understand is that when I speak to them, whether one on one or as a group, it’s like pulling up to a gas station. I get more fuel to continue my journey. So, while I am grateful if people are inspired by me, I am even more grateful and motivated by the fact that they continue to inspire me.

As I've always maintained, this journey was never about being skinny or pretty or hot, it's always been about being healthy, Knowing that society still puts too much emphasis on being young, thin and emaciated, just proves that I must remember that society and real life are two very different worlds. What is truly important is blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, reduction of expensive medications and the ability to walk to your mail box with out being out of breath. Who cares what size clothes you wear and who says that thin is in? Make your own road and take as long as you need to get there with as many stops as you desire. Gas, food, stretching or even sleeping. It’s your journey...don’t let anyone be a back seat driver, but make sure you keep plenty of supporting passengers along for the ride.

Starting Again is Not the Same Starting Over

Have you ever driven somewhere so many times that you could do it with your eyes closed? Well, maybe not closed, but you know what I mean. Have you ever found yourself at a destination with no real memory of actually making the drive? Not because your memory was impaired, but because the route was so intimately familiar that you didn't have to think about it, you just went through the motions, and – voilà – destination reached!

Believe it or not, I just had that experience on an eight-hour ride! You wouldn't think that a trip that long could go by in a blur, but it did. Not that I wasn't paying attention, I was, but the time just seemed to fly by (of course, time is doing that a lot lately). Anyway, what I realized as I was making my trek northward, is that sometimes you have to go back to the beginning of your road trip to find the raison d'être- rediscover that spark, if you will- to discover why you are even on the journey at all.

You see, ever since I hit my goal, I've been struggling with the mental transition from losing to staying. After two and a half years of losing weight, I still feel bad if I maintain. But that’s the point of hitting “goal”…maintaining. So, as I started out of my driveway, it dawned on me that this is my first road trip since hitting the magic number. And even though the literal drive would be the same, I had the opportunity to view the figurative one through different eyes.

So, I've always said that my “road trip” would never end, I would just keep changing destinations, but I think now I've realized that the destination will always be the same, but the course I choose to get there will actually be different. While losing weight, I needed to focus on reaching the small milestones along the way (and Weight Watchers is fabulous at helping people celebrate those small, but significant, achievements). Upon hitting my goal, I needed to take a few steps back, look at how far I've come and then get back in the car and do it all again. And as with all road trips, just when you think you can’t take it anymore, can’t be in the car for one more second, you realize you are right where you are supposed to be at that moment in time. For some reason, that realization allows you to keep focus on the task at hand and helps with the overwhelming sensation that the road is too long, the journey too difficult. Once you realize how much you have given of yourself to be at that point, it should put everything in perspective ­– nothing is as long and difficult as what is already behind you.

So, what I discovered on my literal road trip, is that I shouldn't dread what’s ahead of me, it will be over before I know it and I should just enjoy the drive, scenery, music and everything that comes with the ride along the way. No fretting, I've done it before, and I know I will do it again, I just have to keep learning something new with every trip so that I don’t get bored. Staying the course is not an option, only changing it along the way will keep me challenged.

Dangerous Curves Shouldn't Only Apply To Roads

OK, I get it, it’s been a minute since I have posted anything. Many of you may have thought I’d abandoned this road trip since I hit my goal. Well, rest assured, I haven’t. Getting to my goal was only the first part of my journey. I will be on this excursion for the rest of my life, and I look forward to the adventure that awaits me.

So, now that I have the reassurances out of the way that I am still alive and well, I wanted to get on with the bur under my saddle– the nail in my tire, so to speak– that inspired a soap-box moment on Facebook last night: the media still doesn't understand women and the struggle we all go through in order to feel accepted by our peers and by society. And really, now that we are generations removed from the Marilyn Monroe/Jean Harlow glory days where real women had curves and looked like women instead of 13 year old boys, why should I expect that the media would be accepting of a woman who breaks the mold. You know, the mold of someone who only drinks water (but not too much, for fear of retaining it), might eat a celery stick and smokes plenty of cigarettes to keep her mind off of starving herself. The kind of girl who presents a completely unnatural, impossible ideal of what is expected of women. While I don’t have any real statistics, I could guess that only about 3% of American women fit the media’s perception of what the perfect woman is: 0% body fat, 5’10” (or taller), around 100 lbs. Who knows, maybe that percentage is a little high, maybe it’s way off, but what I can tell you is that probably 95% of that 3% live in Hollywood, the other 5% are probably in an eating-disorder clinic.

What, you may be asking yourself, brought on this rant? Well, I’ll tell you…it was an interview I saw with Miss Indiana. She made quite the splash at the recent Miss USA pageant because, according to media outlets, she has a “normal” body type. Normal…let that sink in for a minute. So, does that mean there is, on some level, an understanding that the other girls in the competition aren't normal? Let’s consider a few things here:

• She may be normal and a hit on social media, but her Bikini Scores weren't high enough to allow her to move into the Top 10 finalists (judges message: she’s too fat)
• She’s 5’8”, weighs 137 lbs. and is a size 4 (really, that’s normal?)
• She is, on average, 25 pounds heavier than the other girls in the competition

What is the message we are sending the young girls sitting in front of the TV watching this spectacle? Well, it seems to be “if you are a size 4, you are too fat to win a beauty pageant.” I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that a size 4 is “normal”.

I mentioned Marilyn and Jean earlier, and I must go back and elaborate on them for a minute. Back in the day, they were considered “Blonde Bombshells” with curves that went on for days! When you looked at them, you couldn't count their ribs or you didn't fear that they might fall over from exhaustion, dehydration or starvation with their next step. No, they were real women and they looked like women. And what’s really amazing is, even today, if you have a picture of a Victoria’s Secret Angel next to the iconic picture of Marilyn in the white dress over the street vent and you show them to a random selection of men, guess which one they will choose? But put the same two pictures in front of women and ask them which one they would prefer to emulate, and I bet the results would be disappointing, yet not shocking.

But, my final realization in all of this is that it doesn't matter what you weigh, what size you are as long as you are healthy. Happy is a side-effect of healthy and if you can be healthy at 5’8” and 137 lbs., go for it. If you can be healthy and happy at 5’6” and 160, go for it. But don’t let society dictate what is “normal” because then the world would be a very boring place. So be abnormal and live your own life, that’ll teach’em!