Sometimes It's More Than Just a Road Trip

I’ve always thought if I could go somewhere exotic, I’d have a chance to sit in a little café somewhere and think up the next great American novel…or more likely the next (better) 50 Shades. Either way, I’d be doing what I love: traveling and writing. Then I found out I was scheduled to go to Barcelona for business! What better way to test my theory. And you know what? It worked. I realized one reason I’ve been in the “donut tire” lane for my blog lately is that I haven’t really done anything worth discussing, writing or road tripping. I’d become so monotonous, that I’d lost my inspiration and why I started this journey. The reason for writing was to remind myself why I was trekking the first place. For a while, I felt like I’d said everything that needed to be said or did everything that needed to be done, and I was having trouble connecting with the part of me that was enjoying the stops along the way. Life interrupted my train of thought. Hell, life derailed my train.

Getting outside my everyday routine, and the borders of the country, helped me realize that there really is more than just getting up and doing the same thing every day. I enjoy what I do for a living, I’m lucky that it’s not something I dread doing every day when I get up in the morning. However, I still have to take time to do what I love. And I love to write. I’ve been trying to write a novel for a few years now and keep getting sidetracked. I think it’s because my heart knows it’s not the right story. The blogs, while I’ve been told are enjoyable, sometimes feel forced and I’m letting myself and others down with what I end up posting. It’s possible that with the life-changing news our family recently received about Bonnie that I’ve come to understand I am supposed to tell her story.

Life is a journey. I get it. That’s about the most cliché thing that anyone can say. But how else would you describe it? When you start, you have no idea what lies ahead, you have to make last minute decisions that may, or may not, send you off in the wrong direction. When you get lost, you have to figure out how to find your way back to the main drag. Face it, life is a whole lot like going someplace you’ve never been. When you keep doing the same thing over and over again and you’re looking for a new experience, well, that is what they (and by “they”, I mean Albert Einstein [allegedly]) refer to as “insanity”. We all have limitations (money being the #1 limitation), but a lot of times it’s fear that keeps us going in circles. Tomorrow is never promised, of that I am more certain more than ever. Just get out there and start driving. You never know what adventure is awaiting.

Distracted Driving

I'm sorry. That's really all I can offer at this point. It has been far too long for me to have been away, and I am paying the price! 

Have you ever gotten in your car to go somewhere familiar, like to work or home or to drop the kids off at school? Somewhere you travel every day, only to get there and go "wait, how did I get here? I remember getting in the car, but I don't remember actually driving!" That's pretty much auto-pilot. And it's not a good thing. When you switch to auto-pilot, you may be reaching your destination, but you may have missed some things along the way, maybe you ran a stop sign. If you're lucky, there were no major repercussions for the mental lapse, if you aren't, maybe your zone out caused an accident. The fact is, you may not suffer immediate consequences for not paying attention, but it is likely to catch up, if you don't do something to snap out of it.

Only recently, did I realize that's what I've been doing for these last several months. I put my car in "drive" and am blindly following the same path, doing the same things and making the same mistakes along the way. Getting caught by the same Red Lights, hitting the same traffic spots and just not really enjoying the trip. What I've got to do now is mix things up a little and catch the fire that I had in 2011 when I got in the car to start this trip. I've said all along that it's about the journey, not the destination, but what I've come to realize is there is no finish line. The up side is, I think I've found my focus again. I don't want to get where I'm going, only to realize I missed the whole drive because I was dazed and confused. I realize that I think I've been searching for something for the last year, but I don't know what that something is (I've never felt like Bono so much in my life, since I still haven't found what I'm looking for!), but I wasn't going in the right direction.

So, now, with renewed interest in my surroundings, and a promise to take alternate routes to help keep my interest behind the wheel, I plan to put my energy back to where it belongs and finally get back on the road and get back to me.

Surviving a Fender Bender

On September 9^th, I will celebrate my fourth anniversary with Weight Watchers. Has it always been easy? No. Has it always been tough? No. Like all aspects in life, I had, and continue to have, ups and downs. To be honest, I am actually in one of the “downs” right now. What I decided to do to in order to combat the down was do what I do best- write a blog post. As I was formulating this blog post in my mind, I headed to my weekly meeting on Saturday. And wouldn’t you know it, the topic of conversation was “It’s a slip, not a slide.” With that in mind, I present to you “Surviving a Fender Bender.”

We’ve all been driving down the road and seen one, two or maybe even three cars in the median slightly banged up. There’s probably even a squad car there to assess the situation and hand out a ticket or two. As we drive by – in our damage-free cars – we say a little prayer of thanks that it’s not us standing there looking at the bumper hanging off our car. But what if it was? Would it be the end of the road for you? Would you proceed to drive your car completely off the road and into a tree then throw your hands up and say “that’s it, I’m through now. I’ll never be able to drive anywhere, ever again”? No, you’d get on the phone with your insurance company, explain the situation, deal with the consequences (a little higher premiums) and get your car repaired. Then you resume your life.

Why, then, do we punish ourselves so extensively when we have a little slip up and gain a few pounds? It’s a blip on the radar, it’s not the end of the world. Realizing that it’s happening and correcting the problem is key. After losing 150 pounds, gaining 5 of it back sucks. I’m not gonna lie. But that means that I’m still down 145 pounds. Why would I take a fender bender and turn it into a situation where I have to total my car? I won’t. I’ll call the insurance company (in this case, all my Road Trip buddies and WW crew) and I’ll face the consequences (a little higher numbers on the scale), but then, I’ll get my car repaired and I’m gonna get my butt back on the road. I’ve come too far and put in too much blood, sweat and tears to ram my car into a tree now.

So, the next time you find yourself up a little, don’t throw in the towel, use it to wipe some sweat off your face and get back on the road. There will always be peaks and valleys, and the measure of success isn’t how you handle the peaks, it’s how you navigate the valleys.

Take Your Own Journey

I’ve realized something over the last (almost) four years…no matter how well you succeed in striving to hit a goal, you are always comparing yourself to others who have “done better.”  But what does “done better” really mean? Does it mean that someone lost more weight than you? Does it mean someone lost it quicker than you? Does it mean that someone makes more money than you? Well, since we are all human and all in the habit of comparing ourselves to friends, family and co-workers who surround us (and in some cases, we find ourselves making comparisons with people whom we’ve never even met).

There are some good things that can come from these types of comparisons, but for the most part, comparing any accomplishments we make with those of other people is downright useless. I was talking with a neighbor at the grocery store the other day. I noticed that he has lost quite a bit of weight. I know he’s been working on it, as he was attending Weight Watchers meetings periodically and I’ve also seen him walking up and down the main road outside my neighborhood. But I hadn’t seen him in a while, so his weight loss was dramatic and noticeable. Now, I know it can be tricky to mention weight loss to someone, but given the fact that I knew he’d been working on it, I would be remiss not to say something. He thanked me and told me he’d lost about 50 pounds. I congratulated him. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave it there. He went on to compare his accomplishment to mine. I could tell he felt bad that he hasn’t lost as much as I have. He needs to take his own journey, and I told him as much. What he did is a huge accomplishment! He should be shouting it from the rooftops, he should be encouraging others – who are interested – to come along for the ride. He should not be bummed that he hasn’t done what I’ve done.

Now, I have a confession to make. I have to work on this problem with myself! I do look at others who have done more, done it quicker or done it better and I wonder what I could have done differently to change my path. But then, I get random Facebook messages out of the blue from a nationally known magazine and I realize that it doesn’t matter the road that others have taken, because I took the road that I was supposed to take and I am where I’m supposed to be. Sometimes that road was less traveled, but other times it was a full-on traffic jam, but the entirety of that road was mine to travel as I saw fit.

So, I will work on making sure that I don’t try to hitchhike onto someone else’s Road Trip, but I will make sure that I support and encourage everyone along the way. And I hope that you will do the same, because when we all get to where we’re going, it should be one helluva party!

Xtreme Road Trip, Part 2

Many of you were interested in the story I posted the other day about my friend and co-worker, Amaury Dehez. Well, as luck would have it, I had the honor of writing a follow up piece for our company on Amaury's amazing journey to Swissman status. So, without further adieu, I present "An Xtreme Finish":

So, as you read last week, Amaury competed in the Swissman Xtreme Triathlon this past weekend. Well, I don’t know if “competed” is the right word…more like dominated! In a field of 352, he came in 7th, finishing in about 14 hours. He was the first in his age group and the first French competitor to cross the line. C’est magnifique! Il est incroyable! He had a strong support group all over the world cheering him on, many of whom were following along with the Live Tracking offered on the Swissman website (yes, I was one of them!!).

For the swim, he felt he could have been stronger, but he also knew that it would be possible to make up time during the bike and run. When it came time to get on the bike, he realized that he couldn’t push too hard right out of the gate and he would need to get in a good rhythm in order to gain position. The realization that this section is exceedingly difficult could have had an adverse effect on Amaury, but he was not only prepared physically, he was prepared mentally as well. The only wild card was the weather. The wind and rain (and sometimes snow) created additional challenges that can make this race so extreme, but rather than lament the conditions, he just decided that the weather is part of what made this race so special and epic. Early on – and during some of the most extreme conditions – he lost feeling in his hands and still had two summits to climb. The ups and downs of the mountains surely mirror the range of emotions that he experienced while he was out on the course. Just before the final summit, he grabbed an energizing snack which helped him pick up time and positions, as some of the others fell victim to the elements. By the time he got to the final portion, the marathon, he was in “Robocop” mode. He was able to overtake additional competitors during this phase. But as the end is nearing, his mental fatigue is kicking in, his coach/mentor picks up on this and pushes him to keep going. He does and finally, the end and he is a Swissman.  This brief recap does not come close to doing justice to his experience. Reading about his experience in his own words was amazing. I felt as if I was in the middle of the Alps right along with him. 

One would think that after completing this feat, that the next thing on the list would be to relax, but not Amaury! He will be competing in the Mallorca Ironman, which will help with World Championship Qualifications. He knows that, while he couldn’t take unnecessary risks in the Swissman, he will take some risks in Mallorca to help him learn, and push, his limits. His goal is to continue to improve and be an inspiration to others. After hearing him talk about this experience first-hand, I can say that he is truly an inspiration to me. He is not only a world-class athlete, but he is world-class person and I look forward seeing what his future holds!

Starting with a Clunker, Ending with a...

So, here’s what I've been thinking: we all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder (thank you, Shakespeare and countless others) but did you ever stop to think that the beholders have extremely different views? Look at the lineup of European cars versus American.You will see what’s important. In Europe, it seems that size matters, but so does functionality. In America, it’s all about the appearance. Who cares if you siphon gas off the neighbors, as long as you look good doing it, am I wrong? Which school of thought is right? There doesn't appear to actually be a “right or wrong” answer! The answer can only be given by the driver of the car. Initially, vehicles were created to get people from Point A to Point B without any additional flash. Now, however, it seems it’s all about the flash. But that’s OK, if that’s what you want. For me, I want to be functional, with a dash of flash. What that means is that I need to be able to have a routine that is sustainable but fun, easy to do but challenges me and keeps both my mind and my body in top form.

Not to sound like a broken record, but the reason for starting this blog (and the subsequent Facebook Group), was to prove that large, seemingly impossible tasks could be achieved by simply taking it on a little at a time. If you go all gangbusters at the start, without easing in, there is a higher likelihood of getting burned out before reaching your goal. All flash…most people don’t learn to drive using a Maserati (I’m sure they are out there, but us normal folk sure don’t!). No, we learn on our parent’s cars or a clunker that is already well on its way to the junk yard. The reason being, with the learning period, there are always rough patches and why would you want to do damage to a piece of art like a Maserati? Start with the clunker, get the feel of it, and learn how it drives, brakes, the intricacies of the machine. Then, when you’re a bit more experienced, you move on to something reliable like a Ford, Toyota or something equally functional, but a little flashier.

Eventually, you will have figured out what is the most important characteristic you need in your vehicle. It will vary over the course of your road trip. When you started, you may have thought that at the end of it you would definitely be getting the Maserati. But maybe, as you go along and learn about yourself, you will realize that it really wasn't about the type of vehicle you took on the journey, it was just that you decided to take the journey in the first place. That beauty that you are beholding can – and will – change. Don’t be afraid of that change. Hell, if you go through you’re journey and don’t change, then you haven’t made it to your destination yet.

Remember, each person has to take his or her own journey at a personal speed. Don’t look at someone’s Maserati and envy it while you drive your clunker. You don’t know what it took for that person to finally get to that point and you won’t know until you've arrived. Support others and let others support you, but don’t compare yourself to them. It can only lead to a pile-up on the expressway.

Getting There

Do you know that feeling, after a long road trip, of being so close to the end of your journey that your brain goes into auto-pilot? Where you know every little nuance of the road your travelling, every pot hole, every stop sign, every car parked in the street. And then, just when you thought you were going to be able to sail through to the end, one of those pot holes has turned into a sink hole and there is a big detour sign sending you out of the way. So now, you've been on this road trip and you can see your destination, but you have to take one last detour to get around one last obstruction.

Well, that’s what happened to me trying to hit my WW goal. I was so close to reaching my target number last week, but it just wasn't in the cards. I was .4 pounds (that’s 4/10 of one pound, less than half a pound) away from it last week. But it might as well have been a sink hole in the middle of my road. However, since I've learned a thing or two on this ride, I kept my head held high, continued doing what’s gotten me this far and took that extra little time— that little detour— and I made it to my destination this week! I've lost 150 pounds in almost 2 1/2 years and it has been the most incredible journey of my life.

I really thought I wouldn't be overcome with emotion when I hit that goal. I figured since I've been pretty honest and open about my “road trip”, that it wouldn't require much self-reflection. Boy, was I wrong! I was emotional, everyone in the group was super excited for me and my Dad made a special guest appearance at the meeting yesterday, all which added up to a pretty emotional moment!! That group, led by Margie, has played (and will continue to play) a huge role in my success. I couldn't have done it without them. My friends and family were also instrumental in keeping me on the path. They were the best Road Trip Buddies anyone could ask for! A huge “Thank You” to everyone who has been riding in the car with me all along and helping me stay focused on the road.

If you think this is the end of my blog and my stories, you are wrong. This is only the beginning! With every road trip, there’s always the return home! I think that journey will be just as inspiring as the one that brought me here. So, I hope that anyone who has tuned in over the last year or so, will continue to do so. I know that I have inspired others, and to those of you, I say “thank you”! My one best piece of advice is to believe in yourself. No matter what you are looking to accomplish, start with the belief that you will succeed. As I've said on here before, if it’s easy, it’s not worth doing; if it’s worth doing, it’s not easy.

Cheers and here’s to the start of another long, successful journey!