When Reality Hits You Like a Freight Train

I've had a week to process the death of Ralphie May. It hit me like a freight train. Not because I was such a fan of his work (I was, and am, a fan), but because he was the same age as I am. And he died. Of cardiac arrest. I know he made a living making fat jokes and laughing at himself, but I wish that someone had been there to encourage him to live a healthier lifestyle, like I was lucky enough to have. He probably surrounded himself with enablers, those who would rather give him what he asks for rather than what he needs. Those who would tell him what he wanted to hear, rather than help him face a tough reality. From personal experience, it’s not a fun conversation to endure, but seeing a loved one end up in the hospital with oxygen tubes (if you’re lucky) or in a casket (if you’re not) is even less fun to endure.

In the weeks leading up to his death, he was suffering from pneumonia and at his last performance, he couldn't walk up the steps leading to the stage. When you have to exert that much energy to do so little activity, there will be difficult times on the road ahead. I know. I remember those trips to the mailbox that had me short of breath. Life is tough enough as it is, why must we make it harder on ourselves by not taking care of the one thing that will be with us through our entire lives: our bodies?

Contrary to what society tells us, we don't have to be skinny, but we should be healthy (BTW, skinny people can be unhealthy, too!). Please, all that I ask of you, my friends and family, is to take care of yourselves. Drink water, move throughout the day, do other things that help you stay in my life longer. It really hit home when I thought about where I could be if I hadn't been encouraged to live a healthier lifestyle. If Ralphie May's death can cause just one person to live healthier, than his sudden loss will not be in vain. His fans, friends and family will feel that loss, but I hope we will all learn from it, as well.

I've included a picture of me in 2011 and him in 2015 (I claim no rights to this image). It's scary that we really weren't that different.

Changing Vehicles

I know, I know. Just the other day, I said I would change things up from car analogies. To be fair, the blog IS called Road Trip. Also, as I was out riding my bike the other day, and it dawned on me. Just because you’re on a road trip, doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a car. So, with that in mind and my recent re-dedication to this journey, I’ve decided to tackle this from a cycling perspective, at least for a while. If you think about it, the change makes a lot of sense. It takes longer to get somewhere on a bike than in a car. But, you get to see more things along the way and you have more fun when traveling in a pack, with your friends.

Restarting, starting over, rededicating yourself. These are all terms that sound like you failed at something and are making another attempt. It’s not the case. There’s only one way to fail, and that’s to never start. Well, there is one other way to fail: to always compare yourself to what others are doing. Don’t feel like you have to live up to someone else’s expectations or accomplishments. Rather than letting the competition get the best of you, gather your friends to join you on a nice bike ride. It’s a good way to ensure you are surrounded by a supportive group of people. Life is challenging enough. There’s no reason to go it alone. If, for some reason, you find yourself on a solo bike ride, find others who are looking will welcome you to their pack.  One thing that I’ve learned is there will always be slower riders and speed demons, no matter the vehicle. I’ve got to find a pace that I can manage and start there. If I surround myself with others who are successful, then I can only improve.

I’m excited to look at the road from a different angle and speed now. Come along for the ride! It’ll be fun!

Running Off the Road

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes you run off the road. You know how to drive, after all, you've been doing it a while. But something happens and it completely derails you. This interruption can be as simple as one wheel grazing the shoulder or as complex as totaling the car into a tree. Either way, you've survived the ordeal and need to be sure you aren't afraid to get back behind the wheel.

For me, I think the answer is pretty obvious! It's been over a year since I wrote anything. Yeah, I hit the tree! But I have been trying to get back on track. The key word here is TRYING. If I really wanted to get back to it, I would just do it, no trying about it. I haven't been at my best for a while now, as there's been a lot that's been going on over the last year. I won't go into details, because it doesn't really matter, whatever I said, it would just be a list of excuses.

Those excuses are done. I'm back! I've been doing some things right, physically, but mentally, it has been a challenge. I'm ready to get going again. I will need to make some changes along the way and that might include this blog. I've always done it from a driving perspective, but I don't know how many more car metaphors I have in me. So you'll have to forgive me if I veer off that path on occasion and just use this space as a way to get my inside voice, well, outside!

If you're still here and have been waiting on me to get the hell out of the rest stop, thank you! I expect that by the end of the year, I will be in a better place and it will be because I've rejoined the Road Trip!

Sometimes It's More Than Just a Road Trip

I’ve always thought if I could go somewhere exotic, I’d have a chance to sit in a little café somewhere and think up the next great American novel…or more likely the next (better) 50 Shades. Either way, I’d be doing what I love: traveling and writing. Then I found out I was scheduled to go to Barcelona for business! What better way to test my theory. And you know what? It worked. I realized one reason I’ve been in the “donut tire” lane for my blog lately is that I haven’t really done anything worth discussing, writing or road tripping. I’d become so monotonous, that I’d lost my inspiration and why I started this journey. The reason for writing was to remind myself why I was trekking the first place. For a while, I felt like I’d said everything that needed to be said or did everything that needed to be done, and I was having trouble connecting with the part of me that was enjoying the stops along the way. Life interrupted my train of thought. Hell, life derailed my train.

Getting outside my everyday routine, and the borders of the country, helped me realize that there really is more than just getting up and doing the same thing every day. I enjoy what I do for a living, I’m lucky that it’s not something I dread doing every day when I get up in the morning. However, I still have to take time to do what I love. And I love to write. I’ve been trying to write a novel for a few years now and keep getting sidetracked. I think it’s because my heart knows it’s not the right story. The blogs, while I’ve been told are enjoyable, sometimes feel forced and I’m letting myself and others down with what I end up posting. It’s possible that with the life-changing news our family recently received about Bonnie that I’ve come to understand I am supposed to tell her story.

Life is a journey. I get it. That’s about the most cliché thing that anyone can say. But how else would you describe it? When you start, you have no idea what lies ahead, you have to make last minute decisions that may, or may not, send you off in the wrong direction. When you get lost, you have to figure out how to find your way back to the main drag. Face it, life is a whole lot like going someplace you’ve never been. When you keep doing the same thing over and over again and you’re looking for a new experience, well, that is what they (and by “they”, I mean Albert Einstein [allegedly]) refer to as “insanity”. We all have limitations (money being the #1 limitation), but a lot of times it’s fear that keeps us going in circles. Tomorrow is never promised, of that I am more certain more than ever. Just get out there and start driving. You never know what adventure is awaiting.

When a Detour Becomes the New Route

Oh, hi. I know, you all feel like I've been neglecting you lately. Well, I actually feel the same about myself. For the longest time, I was solely focused on me...and then somewhere along the way, it changed. I'm working on that refocusing stuff, but in the meantime, I've been put on a major detour. And I'm not talking about going down a side road, when you want to go through a major intersection, I'm talking about being rerouted to Hwy 41 when you know you're supposed to be on Interstate 75! 

While I will always struggle to keep my vehicle on course, sometimes what's going on outside the car is a little more important. Recently my Aunt Bonnie (one of my biggest Cheerleaders in my weight loss journey) has been diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme. Basically, it sucks. And it has given me the opportunity to reevaluate everything that is important in life. She is only 12 years older than I am and she is the youngest of her sisters. What is happening to her absolutely sucks, but what I've learned over the last several years is that once we put our minds to something, there is no road block that can keep us from our destination. Things won't be easy and, as her husband, my Mom and Aunt April can attest, they are already challenging, but it's amazing what the support of family, friends and total strangers can do. Life is the most uncertain of things that we wander through and at a second's notice, the life we once expected can be turned on its head. Never get comfortable in the driver's seat, you never know what hazards lie ahead.

While I usually make this blog about my experiences, I thought it was a good time to get Bonnie's story out to the world. There is a lot of shit going on right now and we could all use some good news. Bonnie is the queen of spreading happiness and good news and anytime you can help share her story, we are grateful. Now, if only we could hear good news of acceptance from Duke's Brain Tumor program. But if that's not written in the directions we are currently following, we are just going to have to re-write the directions.

If you are interested in hearing more about Bonnie's GBM battle, can donate or would like to spread the word, please click HERE.

Distracted Driving

I'm sorry. That's really all I can offer at this point. It has been far too long for me to have been away, and I am paying the price! 

Have you ever gotten in your car to go somewhere familiar, like to work or home or to drop the kids off at school? Somewhere you travel every day, only to get there and go "wait, how did I get here? I remember getting in the car, but I don't remember actually driving!" That's pretty much auto-pilot. And it's not a good thing. When you switch to auto-pilot, you may be reaching your destination, but you may have missed some things along the way, maybe you ran a stop sign. If you're lucky, there were no major repercussions for the mental lapse, if you aren't, maybe your zone out caused an accident. The fact is, you may not suffer immediate consequences for not paying attention, but it is likely to catch up, if you don't do something to snap out of it.

Only recently, did I realize that's what I've been doing for these last several months. I put my car in "drive" and am blindly following the same path, doing the same things and making the same mistakes along the way. Getting caught by the same Red Lights, hitting the same traffic spots and just not really enjoying the trip. What I've got to do now is mix things up a little and catch the fire that I had in 2011 when I got in the car to start this trip. I've said all along that it's about the journey, not the destination, but what I've come to realize is there is no finish line. The up side is, I think I've found my focus again. I don't want to get where I'm going, only to realize I missed the whole drive because I was dazed and confused. I realize that I think I've been searching for something for the last year, but I don't know what that something is (I've never felt like Bono so much in my life, since I still haven't found what I'm looking for!), but I wasn't going in the right direction.

So, now, with renewed interest in my surroundings, and a promise to take alternate routes to help keep my interest behind the wheel, I plan to put my energy back to where it belongs and finally get back on the road and get back to me.

Surviving a Fender Bender

On September 9^th, I will celebrate my fourth anniversary with Weight Watchers. Has it always been easy? No. Has it always been tough? No. Like all aspects in life, I had, and continue to have, ups and downs. To be honest, I am actually in one of the “downs” right now. What I decided to do to in order to combat the down was do what I do best- write a blog post. As I was formulating this blog post in my mind, I headed to my weekly meeting on Saturday. And wouldn’t you know it, the topic of conversation was “It’s a slip, not a slide.” With that in mind, I present to you “Surviving a Fender Bender.”

We’ve all been driving down the road and seen one, two or maybe even three cars in the median slightly banged up. There’s probably even a squad car there to assess the situation and hand out a ticket or two. As we drive by – in our damage-free cars – we say a little prayer of thanks that it’s not us standing there looking at the bumper hanging off our car. But what if it was? Would it be the end of the road for you? Would you proceed to drive your car completely off the road and into a tree then throw your hands up and say “that’s it, I’m through now. I’ll never be able to drive anywhere, ever again”? No, you’d get on the phone with your insurance company, explain the situation, deal with the consequences (a little higher premiums) and get your car repaired. Then you resume your life.

Why, then, do we punish ourselves so extensively when we have a little slip up and gain a few pounds? It’s a blip on the radar, it’s not the end of the world. Realizing that it’s happening and correcting the problem is key. After losing 150 pounds, gaining 5 of it back sucks. I’m not gonna lie. But that means that I’m still down 145 pounds. Why would I take a fender bender and turn it into a situation where I have to total my car? I won’t. I’ll call the insurance company (in this case, all my Road Trip buddies and WW crew) and I’ll face the consequences (a little higher numbers on the scale), but then, I’ll get my car repaired and I’m gonna get my butt back on the road. I’ve come too far and put in too much blood, sweat and tears to ram my car into a tree now.

So, the next time you find yourself up a little, don’t throw in the towel, use it to wipe some sweat off your face and get back on the road. There will always be peaks and valleys, and the measure of success isn’t how you handle the peaks, it’s how you navigate the valleys.

Take Your Own Journey

I’ve realized something over the last (almost) four years…no matter how well you succeed in striving to hit a goal, you are always comparing yourself to others who have “done better.”  But what does “done better” really mean? Does it mean that someone lost more weight than you? Does it mean someone lost it quicker than you? Does it mean that someone makes more money than you? Well, since we are all human and all in the habit of comparing ourselves to friends, family and co-workers who surround us (and in some cases, we find ourselves making comparisons with people whom we’ve never even met).

There are some good things that can come from these types of comparisons, but for the most part, comparing any accomplishments we make with those of other people is downright useless. I was talking with a neighbor at the grocery store the other day. I noticed that he has lost quite a bit of weight. I know he’s been working on it, as he was attending Weight Watchers meetings periodically and I’ve also seen him walking up and down the main road outside my neighborhood. But I hadn’t seen him in a while, so his weight loss was dramatic and noticeable. Now, I know it can be tricky to mention weight loss to someone, but given the fact that I knew he’d been working on it, I would be remiss not to say something. He thanked me and told me he’d lost about 50 pounds. I congratulated him. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave it there. He went on to compare his accomplishment to mine. I could tell he felt bad that he hasn’t lost as much as I have. He needs to take his own journey, and I told him as much. What he did is a huge accomplishment! He should be shouting it from the rooftops, he should be encouraging others – who are interested – to come along for the ride. He should not be bummed that he hasn’t done what I’ve done.

Now, I have a confession to make. I have to work on this problem with myself! I do look at others who have done more, done it quicker or done it better and I wonder what I could have done differently to change my path. But then, I get random Facebook messages out of the blue from a nationally known magazine and I realize that it doesn’t matter the road that others have taken, because I took the road that I was supposed to take and I am where I’m supposed to be. Sometimes that road was less traveled, but other times it was a full-on traffic jam, but the entirety of that road was mine to travel as I saw fit.

So, I will work on making sure that I don’t try to hitchhike onto someone else’s Road Trip, but I will make sure that I support and encourage everyone along the way. And I hope that you will do the same, because when we all get to where we’re going, it should be one helluva party!

Xtreme Road Trip, Part 2

Many of you were interested in the story I posted the other day about my friend and co-worker, Amaury Dehez. Well, as luck would have it, I had the honor of writing a follow up piece for our company on Amaury's amazing journey to Swissman status. So, without further adieu, I present "An Xtreme Finish":

So, as you read last week, Amaury competed in the Swissman Xtreme Triathlon this past weekend. Well, I don’t know if “competed” is the right word…more like dominated! In a field of 352, he came in 7th, finishing in about 14 hours. He was the first in his age group and the first French competitor to cross the line. C’est magnifique! Il est incroyable! He had a strong support group all over the world cheering him on, many of whom were following along with the Live Tracking offered on the Swissman website (yes, I was one of them!!).

For the swim, he felt he could have been stronger, but he also knew that it would be possible to make up time during the bike and run. When it came time to get on the bike, he realized that he couldn’t push too hard right out of the gate and he would need to get in a good rhythm in order to gain position. The realization that this section is exceedingly difficult could have had an adverse effect on Amaury, but he was not only prepared physically, he was prepared mentally as well. The only wild card was the weather. The wind and rain (and sometimes snow) created additional challenges that can make this race so extreme, but rather than lament the conditions, he just decided that the weather is part of what made this race so special and epic. Early on – and during some of the most extreme conditions – he lost feeling in his hands and still had two summits to climb. The ups and downs of the mountains surely mirror the range of emotions that he experienced while he was out on the course. Just before the final summit, he grabbed an energizing snack which helped him pick up time and positions, as some of the others fell victim to the elements. By the time he got to the final portion, the marathon, he was in “Robocop” mode. He was able to overtake additional competitors during this phase. But as the end is nearing, his mental fatigue is kicking in, his coach/mentor picks up on this and pushes him to keep going. He does and finally, the end and he is a Swissman.  This brief recap does not come close to doing justice to his experience. Reading about his experience in his own words was amazing. I felt as if I was in the middle of the Alps right along with him. 

One would think that after completing this feat, that the next thing on the list would be to relax, but not Amaury! He will be competing in the Mallorca Ironman, which will help with World Championship Qualifications. He knows that, while he couldn’t take unnecessary risks in the Swissman, he will take some risks in Mallorca to help him learn, and push, his limits. His goal is to continue to improve and be an inspiration to others. After hearing him talk about this experience first-hand, I can say that he is truly an inspiration to me. He is not only a world-class athlete, but he is world-class person and I look forward seeing what his future holds!

A Most Xtreme Road Trip

OK, so it's been a while and I truly apologize. I have been bogged down in traffic and just haven't been able to get out on the open road to enjoy my Road Trip. That being said, I was given the opportunity to speak with one of my friends and co-workers who is participating in, what I consider, the ultimate Road Trip! Below is something I wrote to share his story with our company. After thinking about it, I figured it was actually a perfect fit for my personal blog. While this is most certainly not my story, it is the story of perseverance, finding a goal, taking the steps necessary to achieve that goal and then getting your ass out there and doing it! His story is a literal representation of "no mountain too tall to climb and no river too wide to swim." So, sit back, relax and enjoy the story of a most extreme road trip. And, Amaury, bonne chance mon ami!

S-One’s very own Amaury Dehez will be participating in the SWISSMAN Xtreme Triathlon starting June 20^th. It is a grueling, 12-hour swim/bike/run that covers some of the planet’s most treacherous terrain. Not only does he have the support of S-One behind him, but he will be wearing a jersey with the HP logo to raise brand awareness in the European market.

In case you want to know what his day will look like, he will get up at about 3 AM to head out for a 4 AM check-in. Then at 5 AM starting at the Isle of Brissago on to Ascona, is the 3.8 km (2.4 mile) swim. He expects to finish the swim with about 20-30 competitors ahead of him, but he knows that he will be able to make up time with the bike ride and run.

The next leg of the race is a mountainous bike ride through three of the tallest summits in Europe. With varying altitudes from 303 meters (909 ft) at Biasca to the tallest peak of Furkapass (2436 meters, 7969 ft), the bicycle portion will end 180 km (112 miles) away in the town of Brienz. At this point, Amaury says his strategy is to be smart and think like a fox, outsmarting his closest competitors. He knows that he will be able to make up some time on the bike that he may possibly lose in the water.

As if completing those two challenges weren’t enough, the final stage of the SWISSMAN Xtreme is the marathon (42 km, 26 mile run) from Brienz to Kleine Scheidegg. The completion of this competition will be a testament to the dedication of mind, body and soul that Amaury puts into everything he does.

The one thing he has learned during the extensive training is to not push his body too hard in the beginning. Then, with the start just a few weeks out, that’s when he goes hard and gives everything he’s got. The biggest reason for this training strategy is so as not to get hurt and then not be able to train at all. With months of rigid diet, exercise and mental preparedness behind him – not to mention the loss of about 9 kg (20 lbs) – it is these last few weeks that are the key to his plan of attack, as he is currently at the peak of his strength and conditioning.
If you want to check out the course and the different altitudes that he will encounter along the way, you can click HERE.

Starting with a Clunker, Ending with a...

So, here’s what I've been thinking: we all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder (thank you, Shakespeare and countless others) but did you ever stop to think that the beholders have extremely different views? Look at the lineup of European cars versus American.You will see what’s important. In Europe, it seems that size matters, but so does functionality. In America, it’s all about the appearance. Who cares if you siphon gas off the neighbors, as long as you look good doing it, am I wrong? Which school of thought is right? There doesn't appear to actually be a “right or wrong” answer! The answer can only be given by the driver of the car. Initially, vehicles were created to get people from Point A to Point B without any additional flash. Now, however, it seems it’s all about the flash. But that’s OK, if that’s what you want. For me, I want to be functional, with a dash of flash. What that means is that I need to be able to have a routine that is sustainable but fun, easy to do but challenges me and keeps both my mind and my body in top form.

Not to sound like a broken record, but the reason for starting this blog (and the subsequent Facebook Group), was to prove that large, seemingly impossible tasks could be achieved by simply taking it on a little at a time. If you go all gangbusters at the start, without easing in, there is a higher likelihood of getting burned out before reaching your goal. All flash…most people don’t learn to drive using a Maserati (I’m sure they are out there, but us normal folk sure don’t!). No, we learn on our parent’s cars or a clunker that is already well on its way to the junk yard. The reason being, with the learning period, there are always rough patches and why would you want to do damage to a piece of art like a Maserati? Start with the clunker, get the feel of it, and learn how it drives, brakes, the intricacies of the machine. Then, when you’re a bit more experienced, you move on to something reliable like a Ford, Toyota or something equally functional, but a little flashier.

Eventually, you will have figured out what is the most important characteristic you need in your vehicle. It will vary over the course of your road trip. When you started, you may have thought that at the end of it you would definitely be getting the Maserati. But maybe, as you go along and learn about yourself, you will realize that it really wasn't about the type of vehicle you took on the journey, it was just that you decided to take the journey in the first place. That beauty that you are beholding can – and will – change. Don’t be afraid of that change. Hell, if you go through you’re journey and don’t change, then you haven’t made it to your destination yet.

Remember, each person has to take his or her own journey at a personal speed. Don’t look at someone’s Maserati and envy it while you drive your clunker. You don’t know what it took for that person to finally get to that point and you won’t know until you've arrived. Support others and let others support you, but don’t compare yourself to them. It can only lead to a pile-up on the expressway.