When Reality Hits You Like a Freight Train

I've had a week to process the death of Ralphie May. It hit me like a freight train. Not because I was such a fan of his work (I was, and am, a fan), but because he was the same age as I am. And he died. Of cardiac arrest. I know he made a living making fat jokes and laughing at himself, but I wish that someone had been there to encourage him to live a healthier lifestyle, like I was lucky enough to have. He probably surrounded himself with enablers, those who would rather give him what he asks for rather than what he needs. Those who would tell him what he wanted to hear, rather than help him face a tough reality. From personal experience, it’s not a fun conversation to endure, but seeing a loved one end up in the hospital with oxygen tubes (if you’re lucky) or in a casket (if you’re not) is even less fun to endure.

In the weeks leading up to his death, he was suffering from pneumonia and at his last performance, he couldn't walk up the steps leading to the stage. When you have to exert that much energy to do so little activity, there will be difficult times on the road ahead. I know. I remember those trips to the mailbox that had me short of breath. Life is tough enough as it is, why must we make it harder on ourselves by not taking care of the one thing that will be with us through our entire lives: our bodies?

Contrary to what society tells us, we don't have to be skinny, but we should be healthy (BTW, skinny people can be unhealthy, too!). Please, all that I ask of you, my friends and family, is to take care of yourselves. Drink water, move throughout the day, do other things that help you stay in my life longer. It really hit home when I thought about where I could be if I hadn't been encouraged to live a healthier lifestyle. If Ralphie May's death can cause just one person to live healthier, than his sudden loss will not be in vain. His fans, friends and family will feel that loss, but I hope we will all learn from it, as well.

I've included a picture of me in 2011 and him in 2015 (I claim no rights to this image). It's scary that we really weren't that different.

Getting a Flat Tire

I hate it when I get a flat tire. It hinders my forward progress, immensely! But, it happens to the best of us and it’s part of owning a vehicle, bike or even a body! Sometimes, you just have to sit on the sidelines and relax until you get the chance to change your tire (or, maybe you are waiting on Roadside Assistance to come out and do it for you). When you think about it though, sitting out for a bit isn’t the worst idea. You can evaluate how far you’ve already come and you can ponder what lies ahead. The thing is, you don’t want to sit out too long, because it might affect your desire to keep going.

I understand this loss of desire better than you’d think. About a year and a half ago, I got a flat and rather than fix the issue and get back on the road, I just languished in the emergency lane and watched others keep driving right by me. Once that happens, the vicious cycle (not the kind of cycle I want to be riding, by the way) just kept dragging me further and further away from my goal. And I was OK with that. I shouldn’t have been, but I was.

Finally, I decided to get out of the emergency lane and fix the flat and get back on the road. I also learned that when you see someone stopped along the side of the road, they may not be ready for you to offer assistance. Until they come to their own decisions to get moving again, there isn’t much you can do, except try to keep them in your rearview mirror and keep an eye on them. One day, they will catch back up with you and you can merge into traffic and be on your way ­– together.

If you get a flat and don’t get right back on the road, it’s OK. Just make a promise to yourself to never give up. If you’ve gone 1 mile or 1000 miles, you’ve already made progress, never lose sight of that important fact.

Should I Pedal Faster?

Well, the answer to that question is “it depends”. Pedaling is situational. Finding the right pedaling speed (cyclists call it a “cadence”) for the terrain is important, making sure you aren’t wasting energy, when you should be conserving it. Just like on this long strange trip I’ve been on for the last several years, if I’m doing something that is sapping my energy rather than increasing it, then I need to shift gears and correct my cadence.

That’s where I am now. I’ve shifted gears, but learning to correct the bad habits that have slipped back into my life will take some time to undo. As I’ve said all along, it’s ok. It is imperative that I listen to my body (although, now that I’m getting older, it seems to complain so much more than it used to!) and make sure that when it is telling me that I’m doing something wrong, I trust that my behavior needs to change.

Shifting gears, shifting mindset. It’s pretty much the same thing. One of the most important keys to having success while trying to accomplish a large-scale dream is continuing to make the adjustments as you go along. The steps you take at the beginning will not be the same as the ones you take in the middle or at the end. Your gears will shift and your cadence will adjust.

I’ve shifted my gears and now I’m working on finding the correct cadence for this terrain. Things will change again and I’ll make more adjustments when that happens. I know now that it’s OK – encouraged actually – to change things up and not stay the course. Dare to be different, as they say.