Thinking Back, Looking Ahead

So, as I sit here thinking about what the future holds for me (for instance, hitting my goal in about 5 pounds), it dawned on me that I really should take a few minutes to reflect on how the journey has been, so far. The road sure wasn't easy, but as my new favorite saying goes: if it’s easy, it’s not worth it; if it’s worth it, it’s not easy. What I've discovered over the past 2 years is that just because something is difficult doesn't mean it’s not enjoyable. Really, wouldn't life be terribly boring if everything were simple? Where would the feeling of accomplishment be? Where would the feeling of victory be? Facing a difficult task and kicking it’s butt allows you to savor that victory even more.

When I started these road trips (both the WW program and this blog), I wasn't real sure how I was going to keep them interesting. For the program, how was I going to stick to it and be successful? For the blog, how was I going to keep coming up with new and fresh ideas to keep you, my faithful readers, entertained? Now, I have intertwined both legs of this journey into one, larger course. I stay on the plan because I want to keep writing witty and interesting blog posts and I find interesting and witty things to post because I’m successful with the plan. I like to think of it as a virtuous cycle, rather than a vicious one.

As I close in on my goal, I've got to work harder than I ever have in my life. What I have been doing has worked  so far, but I have to give just a little bit more of myself in order to find that higher gear. The end of this particular road trip is near, but that just means that I get to start another one, soon. I've never really given much thought— at least until 11 months ago, when I sat down to write my first entry— to the fact life really is a series of road trips. After you finish one, you start another. I wish I had realized that earlier, not that I have any regrets, I just think that I would have looked differently upon some life events. 

OK, back to that reflecting thing I mentioned earlier— it’s no secret that I've lost over 10 stone (yes, that’s British!), but this isn't just about what I've lost, it’s also about what I have gained. One thing that I have gained is knowing that I shouldn't stare into the rear-view mirror, just merely glance. The past is about learning from what you've lived and the future is about living from what you've learned.

Here's Your Sign

Everyone thinks that driving is easy, that it doesn't take much thought. In my opinion, it doesn't take much conscious thought, but it does require brain activity and since most of us have been driving since we were about 16, all of our actions are second nature. We sort-of go on auto-pilot when we get behind the wheel of the car. That can be a very dangerous way to drive. When you do that, you miss a lot of things along the way. Some of the things you could miss may seem unimportant, but I bet there are plenty of important street signs and landmarks that are missed on a daily, repetitive drive. It is important to pay attention to those street signs, especially when it’s a drive we could probably do with our eyes closed. As almost anyone who has ridden in a car with me will tell you, I have a habit, not necessarily a bad habit, but a habit none-the-less: I tend to read, aloud, street names. I don’t know why I do this, although I have noticed my Mom does it, so I can only imagine where this activity originated! It’s funny, I’ll be driving down the road, alone or with passengers, and if I pass a street name, I just say it out loud.

 

My point in sharing this random tidbit of information is that sometimes it is important to read those signs and know where you are. I think that often times, we are presented with signs that we ignore because we already know the path we are taking, so paying attention to the signs is probably a fruitless task. However, those signs can actually help us get back on the right track. For instance, before I started my journey, there were many signs my body was giving me to tell me that I was not healthy: I didn't want to know how much I weighed, I refused to look at myself in the mirror, I didn't want my picture taken, my knees hurt, my back hurt, I got winded after walking the shortest of distances, hmm, I could go on and on about all the signs I ignored, but I think you get the picture. There are probably some signs I missed altogether because I had blinders on and didn't feel the need to see anything other than what was in front of me.

 

Then the day came where I finally decided to take off the blinders and I realized that I should have been reading those street signs all along. Who cares if others think it’s a peculiar habit?  That little idiosyncrasy keeps me focused on the task at hand. It is important that we pay attention to the signs, because they not only tell us where we are, but if there is danger ahead. Would you really ignore a sign that said “Bridge out”? Probably not. So why ignore the signs of the Universe? Soak in your environment, pay attention to the journey and just make sure that you read the street signs aloud as you continue down the road.

 

I will share with you a cosmic sign that I received just yesterday— I was catching up on Dracula (I’m seriously behind on my TV watching right now!) and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers’ Dracula (or Alexander Grayson, as he is also known) said to a young ingénue: “When it comes to dreams, one may falter, but the only way to fail is to abandon them.” Now, normally I would halfheartedly acknowledge the quote and move on. However, on the same day, Weight Watchers had posted a Confucius quote: “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” So, in the words of Bill Engvall...here’s your sign! Now, it’s up to you as to whether or not you will heed it!

Obey the Rules of the Road

The other night, I was catching up on one of my favorite TV Shows —Elementary— and Jonny Lee Miller’s “Sherlock” said something in regards to his own recovery from drug addiction that really hit close to home: It’s all about structure- recognizing what is working and sticking with it. And it was like a light came on, Angels started singing and I had a “d-oh” moment all rolled into one. Structure is foundation. I know, I told you it was a “d-oh” moment! I've really been thinking a lot about the meaning of today, not only because I need to give thanks to those who inspire me, but also because I have to make sure to maintain my structure. I have to think about what has worked over the last two years, make sure that I continue strengthening my foundation and not fall back into old habits. Now, that’s not to say that I can’t enjoy my self...believe me, I've got some “Santa’s White Christmas” ice cream with my name all over it! But, I have learned that there are more important things to life than eating just to eat.

 

Eating nourishes my body so that I can go outside to walk and enjoy the gift of another sunrise, eating nourishes my mind so that I can sit at my computer and come up with insightful, sometimes snarky, but (hopefully) always entertaining snippets of my journey. On the other hand, eating doesn't mean that I gorge myself on carbs and sugar because I've nothing better to do, eating isn't the sole focus of my existence, which is tough to admit on a day seems to be all about food and just how much of it you can eat. Structure helps me keep my eyes on the road and avoid (or at least navigate with a certain deftness) the potholes that are along the way.

 

Think about this the next time you are in a car. Why do you use a blinker? Why do you drive (close to) the speed limit? Why do you wear your seat-belt? Why do you drive on the right side of the road (here in the States)? Because those are the rules of the road. You know that if you want to safely arrive at your destination, you must follow the rules. Now, I understand that not everyone plays by the rules, but I bet those people follow more rules than they realize. Why? Because life is structured. If a building doesn't have the right structure, it falls. If a person doesn't have the right structure, he’ll fall too.

 

Just remember, you will be challenged when your structure is disrupted. Challenges don’t have to be huge, sweeping changes, they can be minor tweaks that take you out of your comfort zone. Think about going to Great Britain and driving over there. The concept is the same, but the rules are different. It doesn't mean it’s harder or easier, it just means your structure and your thought process will have to be different. Adjusting to the new rules will help you continue to succeed, not adjusting will probably land you in trouble. The best thing you can do for yourself is obey the rules of the road, no matter where the road takes you. Just don’t let yourself get stagnate, because stagnate is boring.

 

So, on this Thanksgiving morning, I want to say that I am grateful to all of you who have been reading and following along on my Road Trip! Thank you for letting me tell my story! And thank you to my friends and family for being in my life and keeping me entertained while I am on my Road Trip!

Keep Moving Forward to Get Where You're Going

I’ve never driven a big rig, so what I’m about to say is going to be pure speculation. I would think that if you are on the road for endless hours in a day, endless days in a week and endless weeks in a month that eventually, you would start to see and hear things that aren’t there. If there are any truck drivers out there to confirm, or clarify, my suspicions, I welcome the correction. The reason I bring this up is because after being on this road trip for over two years now, there are times when I question my sanity and if I am doing the right thing. Then, something really cool happens: a phone call out of the blue to congratulate me on my success, a perfect stranger hearing about my journey and asking me questions, or— and this is truly telling of how far I have come— my new-found desire to reach out to others who are trying to start their own journey. There was a time where I could barely speak to small groups of people, now I am more outgoing and willing to share my story. I don’t generally like to talk about myself, but I’ve found that people are curious, fascinated even, by what I have to say.

When I was overweight, I hid behind my inability (or rather, lack of desire) to lose weight by saying that “tall or short, fat or thin, blonde or brunette, I’m the same person. If people don’t like me, it’s their problem, not mine.” And to a certain extent, that is a true statement and still holds water. However, what I have discovered about me is that even though I still have blonde hair and blue eyes, I’m still the same height as I was before, I am not the same person. And it doesn’t really have to do with being fat or being healthy (I don’t like the word thin because A) I’m not and B) it’s not an accurate description of a human body. Air is thin, fabric is thin, paper is thin, hair is thin...people are not!), but rather it has to do with being comfortable in my own skin. I just have a better quality of life all the way around and it is due to a healthier lifestyle, not just losing weight. Yes, it sucks that we are a country obsessed with skinny celebrities, but skinny can be as unhealthy as fat (I know, I shouldn’t use the “F” word! Margie the Magnificent would probably scold me.) I can’t wait for the day in America where “healthy” is the look of choice for cover girls and runway models rather than grown women masquerading as 8-year old boys. 

So, yes, I often times wonder if being on this road trip has made me see and hear things, twisted my train of thought. But then I realize that what has really happened is that my reality has changed and my view of the world is different. Long road trips will do that to you and you really only have two choices: hold on and adjust to the curves in the road or stop the car and wait for things to calm down. Me, I’ll hold on for the ride, it’s much more interesting than sitting on the side watching other people pass you by. 

Don’t let life suck the life out of you, keep moving forward or you’ll never get to the end.

I'm Worth It

I was talking with someone the other day and I was telling him about my journey. During our conversation, I had to go back to the very beginning. I hadn’t really thought about that day in a long while. The day of sitting out by the water, the day of scarfing down a huge hamburger and fries and a beer or two. That day was sunny— September in Florida, you can’t beat it— and I think the pelicans and seagulls were craving the fries as much as I was. I still remember how the mood instantly changed. We had all been joking and kidding, probably about the fry eating birds, and then in the blink of an eye, the conversation turned serious.  

As I said in “Starting the Journey”, my family was concerned for my health and my well being. In fact, they were so concerned that they were willing to pay the extortion fees that are required if one chooses to have gastric by-pass surgery. That they were making me this offer was both shocking and eye-opening. But the thought that permeated my brain was this: I’m not worth it. I’m not worth the one zillion dollars (ok, it’s not that much, but it might as well have been) they were willing to sacrifice for me. Now, I’m sure in their eyes, I would have been worth one zillion and one dollars, but I didn’t feel I was worthy or deserving of their offer. So, I turned them down. I told them that if change was going to happen, I wasn’t going to take the surgery route, I had to do the hard work on my own.

So now, if you fast forward the journey just a bit, two years to be exact, I’ve learned a lot. A lot about what I can do, a lot about who I am and a lot about who I used to be. But, by far, the most important thing I’ve learned is that on that beautiful September day, at the restaurant on the water, I was wrong. I am worth it. I’m not saying that I’m worth a zillion dollars (I mean, really, c’mon...I’m worth at least twice that!) No, what I’m saying is that I am worth the love, the concern, the care and the fear that my family went through in order to have the heart to heart conversation that they had with me that day. It changed my life. Hell, it saved my life!

So, I guess you are asking yourself how this fits into my “Road Trip”. Well, actually this reminds me of a little pull-off on along 515 between Jasper and Ellijay in North Georgia...it’s just a little ramp along the side of the road for people to stop and get out of their cars in order to really appreciate the beautiful mountain scenery that surrounds them. For me, this scenic view pull-off is to allow me the opportunity to thank those who have encouraged and inspired me along the way. I wouldn’t be who I am if it weren’t for those who surround me. I may not have taken the offer, but I still can never repay them for what they've given to me.

Running Out of Gas Doesn't Mean the End of Your Journey

Early on, I wrote about being sidelined on your road trip in the post Broken Down on the Side of the Road. And, while there are many things that can (and will) derail your expedition for an extended amount of time, there are also some minor bumps in the road that will probably arise. I’m sure it’s not as common as it once was, but running out of gas is a real possibility when you drive for any length of time. With all the new technology in cars, it’s a little easier to keep up with how much gas you have remaining, but people still find ways to run out, trust me. I mean, haven’t you ever seen those poor souls walking along the side of the road with their little red gas cans? I know I have. 

I’ve discovered that running low— or out— of gas can happen in my figurative journey, as well. Just this past week, I celebrated my two year anniversary in WW. Now I can tell you for a fact that, over the course of those two years, there were many times where I either ran completely out of gas or was simply running on fumes. So I did what anyone else would have when the gauge approached “E”...I stopped to refuel. You can’t just keep driving full speed ahead and not expect to run down along the way. It’s best to stop every so often, get out of the car and stretch your legs. If you don’t do that, you may find yourself more permanently sidelined. Once fatigue sets in, that’s when accidents happen. If I let my mind wander, I stop paying attention to what I’m doing and that’s when I mess up. But, stopping to refuel gives me the opportunity to make sure my vehicle has what it needs to continue on, and so do I. 

I also think about when I’m driving to Atlanta, I always race against myself. If it takes me 9 hours and 15 minutes one time, the next, I would really like to make around 9 hours. Now, of course, all traffic laws must be obeyed, but I know that those few extra little stops along the way actually work in my favor. The extra strong coffee from Starbucks or the cold water splash on my face at the Florida-Georgia Line all help me achieve that goal of beating my previous time. I can hear your skepticism now, “how does more stops equate to a better travel time?” It’s simple, doing little things along the way to keep you moving forward and also reduces down-time if you require longer stops to combat your fatigue. 

Everything about this journey is about continuing to move forward, and sometimes we do have to move sideways or even backwards to keep going in the right direction. So don’t let yourself run out of gas. Keep one eye on the gauge and the other on the road ahead of you. When you feel it’s time to stop and gas up, don’t talk yourself out of it. Nobody can carry on a crazy, super-human pace without the proper amount—and type—of fuel.

Make Sure You Take Care of Your Vehicle

If you own a car, you know that in order for it to continue to run properly, you have to keep up with maintenance and service. In other words, if you expect the car to get you from Point A to Point B in reliable fashion, you must keep up with the oil changes, tire rotations and even car washes. The obvious comparison to my journey isn’t much different: since the vehicle for my road trip is my body, I have to make sure that it is in working order so that I make it to my destination. 

I look at starting the WW plan as the beginning, sort of like test driving a car before deciding to purchase it. But then, as I got more involved with the program, I realized that I had to step up my game to stay on course, much like taking a car in for an oil change. Then I started doing other things that helped take my journey to the next level. Things like weight training, kick boxing, even occasionally doing some interval jogging on the treadmill. All part of the maintenance of my vehicle. 

But it wasn’t just the big decisions that have had an impact my success. The small, seemingly innocuous decisions have also added up to positive results. Deciding to write this blog, buying an ActiveLink (or any other type of activity monitor) and of course, the purchase of the treadmill are all little choices that I made to improve the road trip; however, had I chosen to not make any of those decisions, my journey would have still been successful, but probably just a tad boring. I look at these ancillary choices like getting my car washed — I can still get where I want to go in a dirty car, but it makes the trip more fun to be driving down the road in a clean one. 

The important take-away here is to remember that you will be driving for a while and it makes sense to ensure that the car you are driving is fun, safe, reliable and will get you where you want to go. I mean, that’s why we are all on this journey, right? To make sure that the ride along the way is enjoyable? So, keep up with the little things and hopefully you start to notice that the journey does get easier as you get further down the road. Or, perhaps it’s not that it’s getting easier, maybe you are just getting stronger and are better equipped with your ability to handle the twists and turns of the open road.